Pregnancy

People say that pregnancy has it's ups and downs, it's highs and lows...essentially a roller coaster. I beg to differ. To me, it is more like a train wreck. Now I really don't want to sound like I am complaining, because that's really not it. I have had a pretty dang good pregnancy. I should be counting my lucky stars for how good I feel in comparison to some women. BUT I just don't feel joyous and wonderful like so many say. Pregnancy...joyful?...happiest time of your life...? That's a crap chute if you ask me. Anyone that has given birth before probably just laughs at me, like you poor naive soul you have no idea what's to come....anyone who hasn't been pregnant before or is behind me, you are probably like I used to be. I really think that a lot of women use pregnancy as an excuse. You know, I'm pregnant so I can demand any kind of food I want, kind of thing....I still don't have cravings, but it's not all an excuse!!! Some of it really happens!

I may not have had much morning sickness, but the pregnancy gods have prevailed and I have heartburn that is unbelievable! Before I even knew I was pregnant I started having it. Now it has reached an all time HIGH. If it's not waking up in the middle of the night to pee 50 times, I'm being woken up by a burning sensation that makes me want to puke.

Peeing is another story in itself. I was the queen of "holding it" but that has completely been thrown out the window. I used to be so annoyed that I couldn't just go before bed and then when I got up. How much I wish I could return to the two times in the night. Now I go so often I really am going practically in my sleep. What is more annoying than the now 50 pees a night and another 50 a day, is the incredible urges to go. When I have to go, I have to go NOW. So I hurriedly excuse myself at work only to run to the potty to have barely anything tinkle out. I think Brody just needs a break from school and kids as much as mommy does sometimes so he uses her bladder as a trampoline.

Breathing is starting to become difficult. Mostly it's at night. I have already had issues with this because of my "endowed" chest, but now that there is a tummy that seems to be filling up as well...there's a whole new meaning to suffocating! I cannot believe it.

It doesn't just end with the physical stuff. Mentally you are so not the same! I really don't think that being pregnant is a reason to have incredible mood swings and to be a totally different person, but there are times when I wonder where my former sane self went. Last week I had a little scare. The little man in my belly hadn't moved all day. That isn't like him. He never stops. I definitley started to panic, but I was okay, until I said something to a couple co-workers. Talk about turning on the water works! I finally felt him after much prodding, juice drinking, and lying on my left side (they supposedly get better oxygen when you lay on that side), but that didn't end the weepiness! No matter what, the rest of the day I just felt the tears dammed up behind my eyeballs waiting to spill over at any moment. The next day wasn't much better. I honestly got so pissed I could have physically strangled a co-worker of mine with my own hands! I had to remove myself from the situation, and FAST. I don't think they even know they made me so mad, but I was. I made myself stand straight against the wall in the hallway and breathe deeply and take long sips of water. Talk about losing control! I'm normally not that way. I get over it, but not that day!

Like I said, this is not complaints, this is disbelief. I have always been like, "I will never be like that...." Hahaha. How wrong I was on many levels. I really think part of the reason it's so hard for me is because I'm normally Miss Independent. I figure things out on my own. I like to take my own path. Pregnancy's path has lots of twists and turns. You don't really get to chose which path you take, it's chosen for you. If I wasn't so independent I don't think I would dislike pregnancy. You see, I am fiercely clinging to my former non-pregnant mind and body. The sad thing is, I can't. Why do I even try? I thought I would wear my own clothes for as long as I could, but I caved. I bought maternity clothes. Just like you don't get an award for not getting an epidural (which I WILL have), you don't get a medal for going 8 months before buying maternity pants. Truthfully, if I could just go with the flow a little bit more, I would maybe enjoy it a ton more. I finally bought some shirts, and I can BREATHE!!!! Why the hell do I cling so hard? I am pregnant. I want to be pregnant. The fact of the matter is, I am changing...I just need to learn to DEAL! I go home exhausted at night only to realize I am exhausted from trying to "suck it in". Ummmm, hello? I'm pregnant...there's no such thing as sucking it in anymore!

Truly I think I have hit insanity at this point. I think I hold it all together fairly well, until I start to let my mind wander and you get a blog like this one! The thoughts I have perplex me and wear me out, and I wonder what state of mind I will have in a few months. It gets crazier everyday.

Wait....I may need to go stand against a wall and breathe again....

Really though, does it make you a bad person if you don't LIKE being pregnant? I want to be pregnant. I can't wait for the end product, but like I have said before...there is no glowing here. It's more like Eeyore with the cloud overhead. Not all miserable really, but not like "so wonderful" like some people claim it is.

Other Big Baby Buys

On top of getting our crib, we did get a stroller, carseat, and a playard. I never had any intentions of it all matching because I really don't care all that much, but that's how it worked out.

We decided to opt for a travel system. Why buy a car seat and stroller seperate, when you can buy the combo for cheaper, and then your infant can ride in the carseat? We had looked online quite a bit, but nothing was ever really picked out. We went to the Baby Depot, Walmart, Target, and Babies R Us in search of one we both liked. I also really kinda was hoping for a Graco brand travel system. It's not that I am into all name brand stuff, but I have just heard that Graco is the best. I think that when it comes to the car seat that you buy it's kind of important to have one that is good.

Another factor in what we picked was that it not be to girly or to boyish. Sure, it would be great to buy a new car seat/stroller/playard with every kid, but that just seems a bit wasteful. If I knew that I would be coming into money in the next couple years I might be a little more apt to burn through it quicker, but since I don't have any rich relatives that are going to die and leave me money, we figured we needed to get stuff that could last through more than one kid if it needs to.

The playard, or pack n play as they are also called was something I wanted to get. So many people have told me that they are an investment worth making. It'll be great for when we travel or if either grandma's ever want to babysit at their homes, but I also think it's what little Brody Jay is going to sleep in at first. The mattress thing can move up so he'll be up higher, and then I don't have to have a bassinet. I actually picked this one out on my baby registry without really paying much attention, and then when we picked out the travel system it matched.

I feel like a huge weight has been taken off my shoulders since we got so much stuff! Now it's bought and put together and I don't have to think much more about it. I just think about the little one that's going to go in it!

We debated back and forth for what seemed like FOREVER in Babies R Us on what we were going to actually get, but I love every choice we made. I haven't sat at home and wished we had picked something else (something I often do after buying anything). We just need our little man to get here so he can try it all out!

The Crib

We have a crib! I put the crib on hold at a store in Chandler, but we didn't actually get it until Friday evening. Trevor's brother was kind enough to pick it up and store it until we could come, and we couldn't wait to get it!

We took the car to the valley instead of the truck, but I didn't understand why. I just figured that Trevor knew best. We had intentions of buying all the big baby things we needed, but I didn't think it would fit in our car. Trevor informed me that the tires were bad on the truck and that's why we took the car, but I was still skeptical about how things were going to fit.

Sure enough we open the trunk and fold down the seats, and the crib won't fit! It was the main reason for going. I was so disappointed. We finally decided to try taking it out of the box it came in. After much manuevering on Trevor's part we got it in! We knew that it was going to be a tight fit if we got any of the other stuff we planned on, but we did it. We may have looked like crazy people that stuff their cars full, but who cares?!

When we got home Sunday evening we didn't have anything put away, but we went straight to work on putting together our crib. It was so fun to do. It makes Brody's room really seem like his. It's not just four painted walls anymore. I love the crib I picked. I can't wait to get everything together.

Now if the bedding could just get here.....

Best Book

My friend, Heidi, just sent me this pregnancy book called The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. If you are anything like me, or have a sense of humor like me then and of course your pregnant....than you would love this book as much as I do. The opening page clues you in on what kind of book it is.

Top 10 greatest lies about pregnancy

10. Lamaze works.

9. Morning Sickness is Gone by Lunchtime.

8. Good Mothers Love Every Minute of This.

7. You Will Have Your Pre-pregnancy Figure Back in Three Months, Especially If You Nurse.

6. Oil Massages Prevent Stretch Marks.

5. Pregnant Women Have the Most Beautiful Skin and Hair.

4. Exercise During Pregnancy Will Make Your Labor Easier.

3. Pregnancy Brings a Couple Closer Together (Yeah, You and Your Obstetrician!).

2. "From the Back, You Can't Even Tell You're Pregnant!"

1. Pregnancy Only Lasts Nine Months.

What to Expect When You are Expecting, is good, but I love this book because it doesn't give

the clinical descriptions that others do. It is like talking to your best friends or the older sister I never had. When it talks about heartburn/indigestion as becoming a fire breathing dragon I can totally relate. I have been super busy so I haven't gotten all the way through the book yet, but so far I love it! I do feel like Pregzilla sometimes, and Mommy Alzheimer's definitley describes my current state of mind.

I highly recommend this book to any pregnant woman, no matter how far into your pregnancy! Thanks Heidi!!!

Buying for Brody

Who knew that buying stuff for someone (especially someone you haven't even met yet)could be so much fun? Trevor and I have picked up a few things for our little Brody Jay the last couple weeks. It's weird because we went from not even really looking at baby stuff to getting a little something almost every time we go to the store. Talk about making it all seem more and more real!

Of course, living around here we only have Walmart as a shopping option, but we have still found some cute little clothes anyway. I realize that we will probably get a lot of things from a baby shower, but we have really wanted to pick out some things that we like. While we were looking Trevor realized just how picky I am. I am just not a big fan of baby clothes that have cartoons on them like Mickey Mouse, Winnie the Pooh, or any other disney things. Unfortunately, a lot of baby clothes are exactly like that. I like when babies are dressed more like little people than in the fru-fru baby crap. I found a few things that did have little animals or whatever on them that I didn't mind. I really loved the sunday outfit I found. It was even on sale!

I have also bought Brody Jay a few little books. I love reading so much and I hope that somehow that can rub off on him. After working at the school I realize even more how important it is to get your kids interested in reading. Especially boys! Boys have such a hard time being interested in reading. There are exceptions of course, but it seems very true of boys. I really believe that the reason I love reading all stems back to how much my mom read to me as a kid. I am going to try really hard to read to Brody and to make books always available to him. My mom even let me go through the books that we used to have as kids and take some for Brody Jay to have! I love that he will get to have some of my very own books from when I was a kid.

The other thing that I LOVE that we bought was this little blue blanket and matching snuggly from Walmart. Since before I was pregnant I used to look at the baby stuff and always say that the first thing I would buy would either be the blue or the pink blanket and snuggly when I found out what I was having. When we found out it was a boy we went straight to the store and I made a bee line for the aisle with the blanket and snuggly. Of course, they only had the snuggly in and both of them were in for the pink! I was so mad. I finally got the blanket this last weekend and sometimes I just get them out to feel. They are the softest things ever!!!

We made our first big purchase this week. My mom gave us some money to go towards a crib, plus we got our tax return money in so finally after two hours of being on the phone and internet I got the crib! Yay! It wasn't what I had originally picked out, it's better! I can't wait to actually get it. I had to find where it was available at a target and finally found one that had it. Of course, they don't hold anything for longer than 24 hours, so my brother-in-law picked it up for us and we are getting it from him this weekend. I can hardly wait to set it up. Trevor and I always go into Brody's room and look in his closet at our little purchases, but the crib is what we have looked most forward to. That's when it will really seem like his room.

Shopping is always fun, but it is the best now. Every little thing makes me get more and more excited for August!

Baby Naming

People ask us on a daily basis what we are naming our baby. Once that questioned is answered they inevitably ask why we chose Brody Jay. It has made me really start to think about how or why our parents name us the names they have. I wonder about the stories behind people's names. So I asked our parents about our own names.

Trevor's full name is Trevor Joel Waite. Trevor was chosen simply because they liked the name Trevor. His middle name was after his dad's great-great grandpa, Joel H. Johnson (1802-1882). Trevor's mom claims they gave him the middle name Joel to please her mother-in-law. This ancestor was most known for writing the lyrics to songs. There are actually two in the LDS hymn book. One is called, "The Glorious Gospel Light Has Shown" the other, and more famously known one is called, "High on the Mountain Top." I believe that the second song was actually sung by the mormon tabernacle choir this last general conference.

My name was simply Taytum Garner. No middle name. My mom didn't have a middle name and so I didn't get one. I kinda like it that way because I use 'G' as my middle initial now. My parents lived in Mesa while my mom was pregnant and my dad played on a softball league. There was a divorced guy on my dad's team with the cutest little 4 year old blonde that my mom would watch while her daddy played. Her name was Tatum. My parents liked somewhat different names and so that just fit. My mom wanted it even more different, and so she spelled my name with a 'y' in the middle. I love that they did that. It looks so much cuter, and phonetically it just makes more sense.

Now for our little Brody Jay. We like names that aren't super common, but not weird. While we were dating I asked Trevor what names he liked. Me, being the girl that I am, have always had lists and lists of names I like. Some lists are just in my head, but I have had a few actually written down. Trevor told me that guys don't think about that stuff. Then finally he was like, "well, there is one name I like....Brody Jay." I couldn't believe it. I had had both those names on my lists. Right then and there was when we decided what our first son would be named. That was nearly three years ago. I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. My good friend, Bailey, named her son Brody, but I figured our kids aren't the same age and they don't live in the same town so who cares? Plus, that name was like set in stone for us. It is the only name we have ever even really discussed for a boy.

Names are so interesting. I love the reasons behind why we are named then names we have. Trevor and I agreed that none of our kids would have a name that starts with a 'T'. That would just be too much. I'm also not a huge fan of naming our kid after anyone, but I do think that any or all boys that we may have will have middle names that start with a 'J' like their dad's. Other than that who knows what we will pick in the future!

He's NOT a Fish!

Here are the first looks at our little man, Brody Jay Waite! I can't tell you how overcome with emotion I really was yesterday. I had not been feeling well and hadn't slept very much at all, and then I always get really nervous before an appointment. I didn't realize I could be so nervous!

The first bit of the ultra sound was uncomfortable due to the full bladder that they required me to have and all the pushing and prodding she did. She did like a half hours worth of measuring every part of the kid in just the regular 3d ultra sound. Then we got to move on to the fun stuff. She let me get up and go potty (oh what a relief!) and then switched to the 4d ultra sound. Can you say amazing?Pretty quickly we found out that he was in fact a he. That part was actually just done in the 3d. It was VERY obvious! This second picture shows the one leg and then you see something above it...that would be what my dr. referred to as his "peter". Haha. I don't know if it's just the pictures or if it's because I have never had a little boy before, but he seems to be, well um...endowed? HAHAHAHA! Can I say that on this? But, even the nurse was like oh there he is!

I was a little teary eyed all day, but after we were through with telling our parents and everything the water works just started to flow. I can't explain how I felt. I was so glad that everything looks good. The dr. says I pretty much have a textbook pregnancy. I am SO okay with that. Then I was worked myself up before we saw our families that they wouldn't be excited because it wasn't a girl, but really it's their granchild and their nephew so why wouldn't they be thrilled? I just stressed myself out over nothing. But I really hit the dramatic stage when we got home and started to cry because I told Trevor that Brody was going to like him more than me. He just laughed and said that that wasn't true. But you see, Trevor thinks that his dad is the coolest human being on the planet. More than me even. All his brothers have such a relationship with their Dad. I just realized how much I did NOT want to be left out like I feel Trevor's mom is. Can you say horomone issues last night?

I did hope for a girl, but I started to think about all these other boys that are being born around here, and I got excited because they are all kids that have a strong possibility of being athletically inclined and just best buds. How fun is that? My co-worker Marcie Ashton has a son and then two girls and her little girls LOVE their big brother. He is everything a big brother should be, and so then I started to think about Brody Jay being a big brother. I am starting to get more and more excited.

Last night while I was in bed one of my final thoughts was, "wow! This is so real to me now. It really isn't a fish. This is a little boy that looks nothing like Nemo. He has fingers and toes. I know I have been feeling him, but this is so real." I have just been an emotional wreck! I cannot believe I am going to be a mom. That I will have two men in my life. My Trevor Joel and now my Brody Jay.

I am so LUCKY.

Drumroll Please.....

Today we went to the doctor and found out what we were having. We didn't tell anyone when we were going because we didn't want to have everyone calling and asking us all day. Our parents had no clue that that we were finding out at all. We flat out lied to them about when our appointment was.

For my mom we filled a bottle with purple, green, and yellow m&m's. I then wrote her a little poem that said:

Boy or Girl

What do you think?

Look for something

Blue

or

Pink

We stuck only one of those m&m's in there.

For Trevor's parents we did it a little different. It just so happened to be Trevor's mom's bday so we got her a book for her birthday. We put the book in a bag and then a bottle filled all with the same color m&m's at the bottom of the bag. She was so surprised to find that in there!

So in case you haven't figured it out....it's a BOY. Did you expect anything else? Trevor has been saying it's a girl, but he really and truly thought it was a boy and I did too. When I first got pregnant I even looked at a chinese birth calender and it said it was a boy too. I just figured that's what we would have.

Sonogram pictures to come soon!

I Heart Utah

When I was younger we lived in Provo and then Orem Utah. I absolutely loved it. I have really good memories there, and when we go visit Utah I just kinda miss it. I tell Trevor that I would move there in a heart beat and he then tells me he would rather die.

While we were in Utah we did a lot of traveling across their valley. We went back and forth from Salt Lake to Provo to Orem and then even to Payson. It was fun for me to see all the places that I loved. We took the time to go see Bridal Veil Falls which is always pretty. I was disappointed because you can't drive up to it right now because it is winter and I guess they close down. Trevor was amazed by the water and Sundance, but he just didn't get the full effect since it was partly frozen.

When I was a kid we used to eat at a restaurant called Los Hermanos. It is the most American tasting Mexican food ever, but there really isn't much "real" mexican food. We went there quite a bit, and Trev and I didn't go eat dinner there but I did run in for chips and salsa. They were pretty dang good. Almost as good as I remembered.

My favorite thing though was probably going to see my old house. I can't believe how much different it looked to me now. Back then our house and our neighborhood were basically our whole world and so to go back it was just so different. The yard and house weren't as well kept as when we had it, and it was so much smaller than how I had it pictured in my head! The neighborhood itself just seemed so tiny. I was too chicken to go say hi to any of the neighbors that still lived there, but it was just so cool to drive past my house and my old school and the church around the corner.

I think I will always feel at home in Utah, but when we woke up on Sunday morning to snow I realized that I just don't know if I could handle the snow in April! I hate snow. I don't know if it would be worth it. Visiting is okay for now.

Ultimate Payoff

Last week was Spring Break for me and it just happened to work out perfect. Trevor served his mission in Utica, New York and there was a family in his first area (Hamilton) that he baptized. It was a really good family that has stayed fairly solid since. There was the mom Cathy and her two kids Amy and Josh. Josh struggled soon after being baptized and fell away for a while, but he came back stronger than ever and decided to serve a mission. He was called to serve in Salt Lake and last week was Josh's last week as a missionary. His mom and sister came to pick him up and see all the church sites, so we thought it would be the perfect opportunity to see them. It's a lot easier to see them in Utah than in New York.

Josh and his family had a lot to do and a lot to see, so we didn't get to spend as much time with them as we would have liked, but it was still pretty cool. Josh told us that throughout his mission he baptized 60 people! Can it get much better than that. Trevor said that that is the ultimate reward for a missionary. Obviously not everyone that Trevor or Josh baptized is going to stay active always, but 60 people were baptized off of 1 that Trevor baptized. It's amazing. Just think of what our church would be like if every one person baptized then turned around and baptized two more. No wonder they push "every member a missionary" !!!

Two other highlights for Trevor had to have been seeing the missionary that trained him, Elder Mulcock. He lives in Utah so we took a little trip over to his work to see him. It was the only time we could get together, but it was so fun to talk to him for an hour. Trevor hasn't really had any contact with Elder Mulcock since Trevor left his mission in 2005. It was nice to just make that contact again.

In the last area Trevor served he spent most of his mission. It was like 13 months in Glenville. There was a family there that were members that always kind of had an open door for the missionaries, so they spent many a night having dinner there. The Johnsons ended up moving to Utah a couple years ago because the cost of living was insane in New York so we made sure to make it to there house in Payson. It was really good to see them. They have called and sent Christmas cards so we keep in contact, but it's so much better to see them and and their kids in person.

Trevor wanted to spend more time with Josh and his family, but overall I think it was really good for him to see them at all. Seeing Elder Mulcock was the big bonus because we had no idea we were going to see him. And of course, seeing the Johnsons is always fun.