A few days before school started we had the chance to go to an open house where Brody got to meet his teacher and see his classroom. He couldn't have been anymore thrilled than he was. I kinda wanted to just drag my feet along and prolong this time for as long as possible. I just was so not ready!!!
After the meet and greet of sorts we had just a few days to get any last minute things done. Not only did Trevor run through a whole long list of do's and dont's at school he also gave Brody a father's blessing. If you aren't a member of the Mormon church, that's just a special blessing any Mormon man holding the priesthood can give. We have special blessings for things like baptism, but we can also receive a blessing if we are ill or have big events coming up in our life. This blessing was just one of many I hope Brody will receive each year before starting school. I didn't ever have a blessing of this sort growing up and did just fine, but I find such comfort in knowing my kids will grow up having them. I think it teaches so much more than I could even explain...
But, moving on... That night Brody chose his clothes for his first day and laid them out. He went to bed happy as a clam and ready for what the next day would bring! I was not as fortunate. I tossed and turned. I got up multiple times. I just could not sleep. I had first day butterflies, and I wasn't the one going to school!
I took the traditional first day photos, and in my anxiety even spelled kindergarten wrong. That's how bad my nerves were. Brody? Not scared. Not nervous. Just READY!
Trevor met us at the school so he could be there to walk Brody in. He was one of the first kids in class. I held the tears back as my big boy settled in. I could feel the familiar burn behind my eyes and in my throat as I held the flood gates back. Trevor kept saying "it's only half day kindergarten. Just a few hours." I knew he was right, it's just.... That day was the beginning of something totally new. Our life, will never be the same. We will always have kids in school for years and years to come. School signifies huge change to my life as a stay at home mom. Sure, yes, I have one less at home, but that is not a consolation prize for me. Brody is about to have a whole life of his own, so to speak. He will make choices and friends without me there to guide him. He will be learning and growing each day and I will not be there to watch every moment of it. It's not just that I am losing control of what goes on, it's that I'm trusting others that don't love him like I do to help him. It's beyond weird that Brody will be doing his own Brody things separate from us. I know I just have to rely that the teachings he has at home will help him when he is away.
As he cheerily waved us away and we walked out of the school my tears freely began to fall. I was embarrassed for anyone to see me this emotional, even Trevor. I got the other 2 boys in the car, said goodbye to trev, and REALLY began crying. Lucky for me, my comic relief was in the car and said to me, "that's not even a real cry mom." Oh, excuse me if my crying doesn't live up to your standards, Ryder! It did lighten me up though. I explained to Ry that it's just really hard for me to watch all of them grow up. Ry told me he 'wont grow up' and I asked, "you promise?" before driving away.
My good friend, holly, is as much of an emotional puddle as me so we met up and drowned our sorrows in pancakes after we dropped our cute kindergarteners off. It was probably the best decision of the day. It was good to have a kindred spirit with me, and we killed some time before picking up the kids!
I may have driven by during Brody's recess, and shortly after school was over! Once again I got teary-eyed just seeing my big kid come out of class all grins. He had a great day! I asked how it was and he said, "I didn't get in trouble at all!" I guess he really listened to his dad... As we walked out past the office he pointed over his shoulder and told me, "I didn't even get sent in there!" I would be shocked if he ever got sent there, especially on his first day, but it was good to hear.
All in all, it was a great day for Brody. Really, a great few days so far. I'm coping and surviving, but it is so much easier to do because he makes it easy.
Now, he just wants to convince me to let him ride the bus because the "bus is just really fun..." We will see. Baby steps here people. Baby steps.
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